TAE Bloopers
by Aleria14
Summary: Have you ever wondered what screw ups the MR characters made while making the first book? Well, here's your chance to find out. The Flock could never get it all right on the first try, and they enjoy being difficult for the directors. Some Fax. R
1. Chapter 1

**Me: Hi everyone!**

**Max: Yeah, hi...**

**Me: For my usual readers, notice anything different?**

**Max: Is it that I'm not Iggy?**

**Me: DING DING DING! Correct! But you're technically not one of my usual readers...**

**Max: -shrugs- I read Iggy Ramblings :D with Matt, remember?**

**Me: Oh yeah...so this is Matt's (Tgypwya's) Max, and he let me borrow her for a few minutes to write this AN because Iggy is having a sleepover with St Fang of Boredom and Fang :D**

**Max: And Matt still has Neytiri to keep him company. -looks around- Maybe I could stay here a while...I like it**

**Me: -eyeroll- You and Iggy? Here? Together? After you pulled that jealousy question? No thanks, you're going back as soon as I write this**

**Max: -shrugs- Are _you_ jealous of me and Matt??**

**Me: I AM NOT!!! WE'RE NOT DISCUSSING THIS NOW! I'm just gonna start talking about the fic...**

**Well, this is basically some of the bloopers that occured while TAE was being made :) There may be some OOCness, but not much. And It's kind of like their making it after their adventure (Excluding FANG), so Max and Fang are together and Total is watching from the sidelines etc. So, I hope you like it! There were a lot of screw ups that the Flock made, hehe :P**

**Max: And tell her in a review if you think she's jealous. I know Matt is.**

**Me: Max, we're not jealous. Shut up.**

**Diclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride or Starwars (Don't ask)**

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_Soon Iggy, tall and pale, slouched into the kitchen. Eyes closed, he fell onto our beat-up couch with perfect aim. The only times he has trouble being blind is when one of us forgets and moves the furniture or something._

'_Hey, Ig, rise and shine," I said._

'_Eat me,' he mumbled sleepily._

Director: CUT! Iggy, the line is 'bite me.'

Iggy: Does it really matter?

Max: It does if you want the freaking book to be written.

Iggy: -groans- Fine, fine -gets back to starting position-

'_Hey Ig, rise and shine,' I said._

'_Kill me,' he mumbled sleepily._

Director: IGGY!

Gazzy: -laughs-

Max: Get it right or so help me…

Iggy: No, I was being serious. If I don't get to say what I want to say, then I'm not going to co-oporate, so kill me.

Max: I'm not going to kill you. I will however force-feed you my cooking. Would you rather I do that?

Iggy: …'Bite me' it is.

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_Oh yeah – that's another special thing about Angel._

_She can read minds_

Director: Cut! That's the end of chapter three, people! Take five!

Angel: You shouldn't think those dirty thoughts while we're acting Max. It's very distracting

Max: Uh…what dirty thoughts?

Angel: You know, the ones about Fang wearing his boxers and lying in a field of roses-

Max: Okay who's up for lunch…wait, you didn't record that did you?

Director: …

Max: -glares-

Director: -runs-

Max: -runs after him- YOU LOUSY CREEP! FOCUSSING ON MY PERSONAL LIFE! I OUGHTA TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB AND-

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

'_I want to go pick strawberries today,' Angel said firmly, scooping up a forkful of scrambled eggs. 'They're ripe now.'_

'_Okay, Angel, I'll go with you,' said the Gasman. Just then he let rip one of his unfortunate-_

Iggy: -starts choking for real and falls on the ground unconscious-

Nudge: -holds breath- -runs from the room-

Max: -goes into a coughing fit- Okay, Gaz. That was worse than it was supposed to be…

Gazzy: -cackles loudly-

Max: Fang, what are you doing?

Fang: What does it look like I'm doing? I'm getting payback for that stunt Iggy pulled before we started filming. -is drawing a moustache and glasses on Iggy's face-

Director: Gazzy, try and tone it down a little bit...

-once the smell has been cleared out of the room-

'_Okay, Angel, I'll go with you,' said the Gasman. Just then he let rip one of his unfortunate occurrences, and giggled._

'_Gas…mask!" Iggy choked-_

Max: -bursts into hysterical laughter-

Fang/Nudge/Gazzy/Angel: -laugh too-

Iggy: What's so funny?

Max: I can't…take you…seriously -laughs harder-

Director: As much as I like that look on you, Iggy, it doesn't work. Now, go and wash that moustache/glasses combo off your face so we can end the flipping scene!

Iggy: …

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

FANG!!!

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_Angel led us to a huge patch of wild strawberries._

_She held my hand. 'If you make a cake, I can make strawberry shortcakes,' she said happily._

Gazzy: -says in Darth Vader voice- Max, I am your father!

Max: -looks at Gazzy in confusion- -shrugs- NOOOOOOOO!!!!! -gets down on knees for more of an effect-

Nudge: Since when is Darth Vader Max's father? I thought it was Jeb.

Max: It is, but don't go telling the readers that! -facepalm- Well, J.P, there goes your whole climax for the third book

J.P: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Iggy: ...NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Gazzy: Why are you saying that?

Iggy: -shrugs- Didn't want to feel left out.

Director: Are we ever going to get this finished?

Max: Doesn't look like it. Can we go now?

Director: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Flock: -facepalm-

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_Dizzily, I fell back, the two Erasers pinning me, and with uncomprehending horror I saw three other Erasers stuffing Angel, my baby into a rough sac. She was crying and screaming, and one of them hit her._

_Frantically struggling…then Fang, completely out of character considering he was meant to be UNCONCIOUS ran over and opened up the sack. Ari jumped out, showing his sharp teeth._

Fang: ARGH! Don't do that, man!

Ari: Stick to the script then and I won't!

Max: Wait, weren't you just…-points at other Ari-

Angel: -unzips Ari costume to reveal herself inside- -giggles-

Max: Ah…

Director: -throws script into the air- -leaves-

Gazzy: -gets up off floor- YAY! We can do what we want

-New director walks in- (N.D. for short)

N.D.: Alright, let's make dreams happen people!

Flock: Damn…

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_Yelling as loud as I could, I made fists and punched the chunky bark of the fir tree hard-_

Max: SHIT! Ow, ow, ow, ow! Fucking hell that hurt, damnit!

Flock: …

Max: Shit, fuck, crap, I mean, crap, fuck…I'll be in my trailer. -leaves-

_Iggy howled and swept his hand across the kitchen counter, catapulting a mug through the air. It hit the wall…_

N.D.: Cut! Iggy, you're supposed to hit Fang in the head

Fang: -smirks-

Iggy: Well, you see, I uh…

N.D.: I get it, you can't see, it must be hard for you, but I know that you have better aim than that. Alright, let's try again!

_Iggy howled and swept his hand across the kitchen counter, catapulting a mug through the air. It hit the wall again…_

N.D.: CUT! Iggy, hit Fang in the head please!

Fang: -is still smirking-

Iggy: -sighs- But if I hit Fang in the head he'll show- never mind

Max: Fang, what are you holding against him?

Fang: Some photo's I took at the after party for this book

Max: We've hardly started! There was no after party!

Fang: Pfft, not that _you_ know of.

Max: Can we just act out the scene please?

Fang: No

Max: -facepalm- -decides to go to more drastic measures- -walks fingers up Fang's chest- For me?

Fang: -hesitates-

Max: -runs hands over chest seductively-

Fang: Fine…

Iggy: -throws mug across the room on purpose- -hits Fang in the head-

N.D.: IGGY!

Iggy: What? You said to hit Fang in the head, so I did!

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_Fang nodded._ God is he ever the strong and silent type.

'_Uh-huh,' said Nudge. 'If we get separated somehow – though I don't see how we could, unless maybe one of us gets lost in a cloud or something – do you think that could happen? I haven't ever been inside a cloud. I bet it's creepy. Can you see anything inside a cloud? Or would it be really dark and misty or even mysterious? You know, I think I'm going to fly inside a cloud one day to-_

N.D.: CUT!

Nudge: -breathes heaily after long rant-

N.D.: Max, what are you doing?

Max: -is making out with Fang in midair- -turns head- Huh?

Fang: -smiles-

N.D.: -facepalm- Your line, Max!

Max: There's a line?

N.D.: -clenches fist- Take five everyone!

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

Max and Fang: -shrug- -go back to making out-

_The first whitecoat rubbed his hands together with glee. 'You're looking at it.' He leaned forward to unhook her cage door. 'Come on, little thing. You're wanted in lab seven.' __**Oh yes! Man, when I piss on her brain…**_

N.D.: CCCUUUUTTTTT!!!!

Angel: -bursts into hysterical laughter-

N.D.: Crawford, stick to the bloody script already! It's _section _her brain, idiot!

Crawford: But that's what it says. -shows N.D. the script-

N.D.: -frowns in confusion- -face turns red- IGGY! GAZZY!!!!

Iggy and Gazzy: -cackle wildly- -slap highfives-

N.D.: -chases Iggy and Gazzy out of the room- -knocks over a cardboard cage-

-Max and Fang were making out behind the cardboard cage-

Max: Uh…

Fang: -looks around to see the Whitecoat actors staring at them- -goes back to making out with Max-

Crawford: Get a room before I piss on your brains!!!

Max: -shoots him the bird-

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_The Gasman scowled. 'I can't believe I have to stay home while they go off and save my own sister.'_

_He kicked a worn red sneaker across the kitchen island and-_

BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! -house explodes into ruble-

N.D.: -coughs- Is everyone alright?

Max: -runs in- Report!

Iggy: -comes out from underneath the rubble with Gazzy- Heh…I forgot that I put a bomb in there…

N.D.: The whole house is ruined!!!

Max: -shrugs- They're pyro's, what do you expect?

N.D.: That's it. This is too much. I quit.

Max/Iggy/Gazzy: YES!

D3: Okay, moving on…

Gazzy: Who are you?

D3: I'm director three, AKA, D3

Iggy: So you're some other version of R2D2?

D3: I guess you could say that

Max: C3PO?

D3: What? Are you crazy? Now way! Alright, let's get back to work

Everyone: -sighs-

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

'_Do we have any chlorine?' the Gasman asked Iggy. 'It seems to be kind of explosive, when mixed with other stuff.'_

_Iggy frowned. 'Like what, your socks? No, we don't have chlorine. No swimming pool. What color is this wire?'_

'_Hey, there's a tag in here.'_

Iggy: A what?

Gazzy: A white tag that says 'pull me.'

D3: …

Iggy: -shrugs- Pull it then

Gazzy: -pulls- -blue stuff squirts all over Iggy's face-

Iggy: FANG!!!

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

'_So, Ella, what do you have to say for yourself?' the lead guy taunted. 'Is there any reason I shouldn't teach you a lesson too?'_

'_Three guys against one girl. That seems about ev-_

Max: -trips on her own feet- -lands in a mud puddle-

Iggy: -dumps feathers on her from above-

Max: -stands up- Iggy, when I get my hands on you…! -takes off into the air after Iggy-

Iggy: -squeals like a girl- -flies off-

Ella: -taps foot impatiently-

D3: I know, I know…

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_What felt like a year later, the hawks seemed to relax a bit. They were huge, with an almost five-foot wingspan, and looked cold and powerful. On top, their feathers were mostly brown, with russet streaks, and they were streaked white below. Not unlike Nudge's own wings, except hers were so much bigger; twice as big._

_Some hawks went back to feeding their noisy offspring, others left in search of food, still others returned with dinner. Another one decided it would be funny to poop on Fang shirt._

Nudge: -giggles-

Fang: -sighs- This was my favourite shirt too

Nudge: They're all the same! Black! What's the difference?

Fang: -shrugs- It was still may favourite shirt…and I made out with Max in it…

Nudge: You make out with Max in all your shirts…

Fang: -shrugs-

'Come on, Mango," Ella called.

D3: CUT! Ella, it's _Magnolia _not Mango!

Ella: But that's a nicer name…oh, and I'm hungry

D3: -facepalm- Well, the food table is-

Nudge: I think that Mango is a nice name. Could we call Total Mango?

Total: -from the cast seat- You are _not _calling me Mango

Ella: -giggles- But it suits you, Mango

Nudge: Yeah, Mango

Total: -glares-

D3: Okay, guys, let's try it again!

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

'_Pretty much. I found you some dark clothes.' The Gasman pressed a shirt and pants into Iggy's hand. 'And I've got some too. So you ready to roll?' He hoped Iggy couldn't hear how nervous he was. This was a great plan, they had to do it – but failure would be disastrous._

'_Yeah, and Gaz?'_

_Gazzy frowned upon realising this wasn't part of the script. 'Yeah?'_

Iggy: How stupid do you think I am?

Gazzy: Uh...

Iggy: I can tell that these clothes are pink. I may be blind, but I can sense colors, you doofus

Gazzy: Damn…

D3: Hello? Are we going back to the script or not?

Gazzy: Only if Iggy wears the pink outfit

Iggy: -facepalm-

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_The Gasman tried to smile. He cranked open the hall window as wide as it could go and perched on the ledge. His palms were sweaty and his stomach was all fluttery. But he had no choice – this was for Angel. This was to show people what would happen if they messed with his family._

_He swallowed hard and launched himself out into the night air. It was amazing to-_

_-window slams shut-_

Iggy: OW! Dammit, Gazzy!

Gazz: -cracks up- You should watch where you're going, Ig.

D3: -goes to hire someone to fix the window-

Gazzy: No, leave it the way it is! I like it!

Iggy: -cusses-

'_I take it that you don't want me to call you parents?' Ella's mom said softly, starting to cut away the neck of my sweatshirt._

'_Uh, no. Hello, lab? May I speak to a test tube, please?'_

D3: CUT! Max, you're not supposed to say that out loud.

Max: Oh…right…next time you should put that in italics then

D3: -facepalm-

Nudge: Don't worry Director 3-person, it must be hard for Max to act when her mother is right there in the room…whoops, there goes more of book three…

J.P.: -cries-

Max: You should stop upsetting J.P., Nudge, with all of the secrets you're giving away

Nudge: I am sooo sorry. I promise I won't say anything else. Especially not about how Iggy finds his parents too- oops…

J.P.: -cries harder-

Max: -awkwardly comforts him-

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_Her mom leaned over and examined it more closely. Amazingly, she was trying to act casual, like, oh, okay, you have a _wing._ No biggie._

_I was practically hyperventilating, feeling light-headed and kind of tunnel-visiony._

'_Yeah, your wing got hit too," Ella's mum murmured, extending it ever so gently. 'I think the shot nicked a bit of bone. Are you sure that your boyfriend didn't do this to you? Has he been pressuring you?' she asked and even though it wasn't in the script, but I played along._

"_Uh, no…Ella's mom...I don't have a boyfriend…"_

Dr. M: Then who is that I see you making out with?

Max: Mom, why are we discussing this now?

Dr. M: Because, Max, we need to have this discussion

Max: In the middle of making the book?

Dr. M: Uh...yes...

Ella: Mom, not one of your best ideas

Fang: -clears throat nervously- -covers face with hat-

Iggy: Fang's in trouble

Fang: Shut up Iggy

Iggy: Shut doesn't go up, prices do

Fang: You've been watching too much TV

Iggy: And you've been watching too much Max.

Fang: That's it. -attacks Iggy-

-Fang and Iggy fight on the floor-

Angel: We will be right back after these messages -smiles innocently-

D3: -moans-

Nudge: I wonder how long you're gonna stay…

D3: From what I see, not long…

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

'_It hit the oil, alright. It spun, hit the trees, and did a flip,' the Gasman told him. 'Now it's on it's back, like a big, ugly, dead beetle.'_

'_Yes!' Iggy punched the air, making their branch sway. 'Signs of life?'_

'_Uh…Oh…uh…well, they should be alive…right….about….now! Hello? Ray? Troy? ANYONE THERE!?!? Crap…'_

Iggy: Uh…

Gazzy: Is anyone alive down there?

Iggy: Crap…did we just kill two of the actors?

D3: Ray? Troy? Gaz, Ig, go see if they're alright!

-Gaz and Ig fly down to the car-

Fang: -from inside the car- Surprise! -dumps blue dye on Iggy-

Iggy: FANG!

Fang: -takes off into the air-

Iggy: You're gonna pay for that Fang!

Fang: What are you going to do, you blue Oompa Loompa!?

D3: -sighs- Now we're going to have to wait a week for that dye to wear off…

Gazzy: No you don't. I can play Iggy!

D3: You want to be blind?

Gazzy: Sure! -covers eyes- -walks into a wall- I'M IGGY!

D3: …yeah, I'm gonna wait till next week…

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

**Me: So yeah, I hope you liked it :)**

**Max: And don't forget to mention about her and Matt being jealous in the rev-**

**Me: -covers Max's mouth- Yeah, so tell me what you think. There's still more to come. It was just too much to fit into one chapter...**

**R&R!?!?!??**

**-Bell and Max**


	2. Chapter 2

**Me: HI EVERYONE!**

**Iggy: -mutters something-**

**Me: Heh...-huggles Iggy- He doesn't like this story...because we make fun of his blindness**

**Iggy: You MOCK it! CONSTANTLY!**

**Me: -giggles- Sorry...**

**Iggy: No you aren't**

**Me: I am....really!**

**Iggy: -mutters-**

**Me: -huggles- Okay, well, I'm not sure if you'll like this chapter, guys but...yeah, Matt likes it, so I'll just trust his judgement**

**Iggy: Yeah...that you're jealous-**

**Me: BE QUIET! I hope you like it guys...**

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

D3: Okay, so where were we?

Gazzy: Uh…Iggy asks for signs of life?

Iggy: Then we kill the actors :D

D3: NO!

Iggy: -snickers- But that's what we're supposed to-

D3: Action!

'_Yes!' Iggy punched the air, making their branch sway-_

-snap- -branch snaps-

Iggy/Gazz: ARRGGHHH!!!

-fall on top of D3-

D3: -from underneath Gaz and Ig- How did you accomplish falling on me? And why didn't you use your wings!?

Iggy: Heh…

Gazzy: We were falling really fast and…well…

D3: Wait…you _wanted _to fall on me?

Iggy/Gazzy: Uh…

D3: I QUIT! -leaves-

Iggy: Thank God…that took longer than the others though…

D4: -comes in- Alright, places everyone

Gazzy: Oh, COME ON!!!!!

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_It was barely dawn. Fang was gone. First Angel – then Max – now Fang._

_Gone! Nudge looked around, crawling to the edge of the cliff on her hands and knees. There's nothing like panic to really wake you up, get all your senses going. Nudge felt keenly alert, frightened, too many thoughts starting to rush to her brain._

_Movement caught her eye, and her head swivelled in line with the loose formation hawks wheeling through the crisp, white-blue sky. They were so beautiful, powerful, graceful, completely one with the sky and the earth and the rough cliffs._

_And Fang still wasn't there._

Nudge: FANG! You're supposed to be up there with the freaking hawks!

…

Nudge: Where are you!?

D4: -shrugs-

Nudge: -frowns- -looks behind a rock- MAX! FANG!

Max and Fang: -stop making out-

Max: Uh…

D4: You're not even in this freaking scene!

Fang: Wait, we were doing the book?

D4: Yes, we were!

Fang: Oh…

D4: 'OH!!??!?!'

Fang: Well…uh…we were…well…we were practicing for the sixth book…

D4: …

Max: Yeah, we thought that we'd need to, uh, be able to do that better…

Nudge: We haven't even finished the first book yet!

D4: FANG! Get into the sky, now!

Fang: -sighs- But-

D4: NOW! MARCH!

Nudge: Don't you mean fly-

D4: THAT'S WHAT I SAID!!

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

'_This freak's _blind,_' one said, gesturing toward Iggy. 'Don't worry, kid. It'll all be over soon, and you won't have to worry about-_

Gazzy: -cracks up-

Iggy: What is it?

Gazzy: Nothing, nothing…keep going…

Eraser actor: -shrugs-

'_Don't worry, kid. It'll all be over soon, and you won't have to worry about being blind anymore. But it's a shame-_

Gazzy: -laughs again-

Other Eraser actor: -snickers-

Iggy: What's going on!?

Gazzy: Nothing, nothing…

Eraser actor: _But it's a shame they didn't give you one of their new eyes – like mine!" _-points to glasses with googly eyes on them-

Everyone: -bursts into laughter-

Iggy: What is so funny?

Gazzy: Here, Ig. I'm sure that these will be so much better than your eyes -hands a pair of googly eyed glasses-

Iggy: -facepalm- Oh har-de-har-har, very funny, guys.

Eraser actor: But they _are _better. Your eyes are much worse anyway!

Iggy: If we don't have anymore jokes about my eyes, can we move on!?

Gazzy: IGGY HAS GOOGLY EYES!

Iggy: That's it. -goes to trailer-

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_When Iggy shouted 'Three!', the Gasman leaped straight up into the air, unfurling his wings with a huge _whoosh. _With a roar of anger, one Eraser grabbed the Gasman's foot and yanked. Above him, Iggy…_

Iggy: -jumps into the air like in the script- -hits the roof- -falls down- Ooowww…dammit! The roof is supposed to be really old and easy to break through! Not freaking brand new!

Gazzy: -cracks up- Iggy, you have a lump on your head!

Iggy: -mumbles something rude-

D4: -replaces roof-

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_As he surged up to meet Iggy, Iggy threw a package down onto the cabin._

'_Move, move, move!" Iggy yelled, flapping like crazy._

_Within seconds they were a hundred yards away._

…

…

…

Iggy: Uh…

Gazzy: Boom?

D4: Guys, you did make that bomb, right?

Iggy: Yeah…and it was supposed to work

D4: But it didn't. WTF?

Gazzy: -shrugs-

**_BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!_**

D4: -dies-

Iggy: …that can't be good

Gazzy: WE KILLED THE DIRECTOR!!!

Iggy: WE KILLED THE DIRECTOR?

Gazzy: Yes! WE KILLED THE DIRECTOR!

Max: -runs in from trailer- Guys, what happened!?!?

Iggy: WE KILLED THE DIRECTOR!

Max: YOU KILLED THE DIRECTOR!?!?!

Nudge: What happened?

Gazzy: WE KILLED THE DIR-

Max: Okay, I think we've said that enough now…

Iggy: BUT WE KILLED-

Max: WE GET IT!

D5: Okay, everyone…uh…well, let's try again?

Iggy: Where the heck do you guys keep coming from?

D5: J.P. has a whole line up of Directors after he found out that he'd probably need them…

Flock: -sighs-

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

'_Max – with your wings – can you actually fly?'_

_I nodded. 'My bones are-_

D5: CUT!

Dr. M: Wrong line, Max

Max: Oh…sorry! Can we just skip that little section in the middle-

J.P.: Why do you insist on changing the book?

Gazzy: So, wait, if Max can change the book, that means that we can do whatever we want to it!?

J.P.: Wait, I never said that you could-

Nudge: This is so awesome! I want to live in a mansion with, like, butlers to wait on us and stuff! And a purple pony and-

Iggy: OH! OH! I wanna be able to see!

Fang: Who didn't see that one coming. You should stop complaining so much

Iggy: I'll stop complaining when you stop sexing Max!!!!

Fang: 0_o

Gazzy: I want to be able to make a huge stink cloud!

Angel: But you can already do that!

Gazzy: Oh yeah…well I want a talking llama!

Flock:…

Gazzy: What? That'd be cool!!!

J.P.: NO ONE IS CHANGING THE BOOK!

Flock: -break out into an argument-

J.P.: -turns to Director- Do something!!!

D5: -shrugs- They're _your _characters, you control them

J.P.: -thinks- Saint!

Flock: -stop arguing-

Max: Who the hell is Saint?

J.P.: We're not getting anywhere. I'm calling in St. Fang of Boredom! D5 you're fired!

Saint: -claps her hands in authority- Okay everyone, move, move, move!

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_Dr Martinez looked distressed. 'Max – are you sure I can't help in some way?'_

Saint: CUT!

Max: But we just started!

Saint: You know, let's just skip to the scene where Ig and Gaz meet Fang and Nudge

Dr. M: Whatever you say -goes to trailer-

Max: -eyes Saint suspiciously- -also goes to trailer-

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_Then her mouth dropped open. Half a minute later, Iggy and the Gasman landed clumsily on their ledge, knocking rocks and dust everywhere. Nudge just stared at them, so happy that she could hardly believe it._

'_You aren't _dead,_' she said._

'_No. You aren't dead either,' said Iggy irritably. 'How about just "Hello"?'_

Saint: CUT! Okay, now Iggy, walk over to Fang

Iggy: Uh…Okay…-walks over-

Fang: …

Saint: Now put your hands on his hips

Iggy: …-blinks-

Fang: …

Saint: DO IT!

Iggy: -puts hands on Fang's hips- …

Fang: -frowns- …

Saint: Fang, wrap your arms around Iggy's shoulders

Fang: WHA-

Saint: Just do it already, Fang!

Fang: But…it's Iggy! NO WAY!

Saint: -gets out herring-

Fang: What are you gonna do with-

Saint: -whacks with her herring-

Fang: OW! Dammit, Saint…

Saint: Do it -holds up herring again-

Iggy: …

Fang: -puts hands around Iggy's neck awkwardly-

Gazzy/Nudge: -laughing insanely hard-

Iggy: -looks away- -mutters- Now what...?

Saint: KISS!

Fang and Iggy: -jump away quickly-

Nudge/Gazzy: -rolling on the floor laughing-

Saint: -smirks-

Flock: -walks in-

Max: What is going on?

Gazzy: -stops laughing- IGGY AND FANG WERE GONNA KISS!

Iggy/Fang: WERE NOT! -blushes madly-

Everyone except Max: -rolls on the floor laughing-

Saint: yeah, they were. Mainly 'cause Fang's Bi

Fang: 0_o

Everyone: ...

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Iggy: MAX WAS MAKING OUT WITH A BI GUY!?

Fang: Don't try to drag this away from me!

Iggy: But…you're bi!

Fang: And you killed the director!

Gazzy: WE KILLED THE DIRECTOR!

Nudge: YOU KILLED THE DIRECTOR!?

Iggy: WE KILLED-

Max: NOT THIS AGAIN!!!!! Now Iggy and Fang, I never thought that I'd walk in a room and hear that you two were about to kiss, but since I have…well…okay, I didn't think this far considering I never thought this day would come…

Flock: -are still laughing too hard to speak-

Max: Just…uh…yeah…don't…ever…again…yeah…uh…

Fang: But I would never-

Saint: -kisses Fang- Okay, I'm done here now. -leaves-

Max: …

Fang: …

Iggy: -joins the flock in laughing-

Max: …

Fang: …

D6: Okay…that was…

Iggy: Embarrassing?

Fang: Awkward?

Iggy: Annoying?

Fang: Uh…-looks at pissed off Max- Suicidal?

Iggy: Funny?

Fang: -glares- Irritating?

Iggy: Hilarious?

Fang: Infuriating?

Iggy: So funny that the flock is _still _laughing -gestures at laughing flock-

Max: So irritating that I want to kill Iggy?

Iggy: …

Max: -glares-

Iggy: …

Max: -continues to glare-

Iggy: …

Max: You gonna run?

Iggy: …-runs-

Max: YOU'D BETTER RUN!

Fang: -shrugs- -leaves to get food-

D6: Uh…take five?

Flock: -still on the floor laughing-

D6: -shrugs- -leaves-

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_I ran a few steps and leaped upward, unfurling my wings and…crashing back to the ground again._

Max: Oww…

Ella: MAX! Are you okay?

Max: Who came up with the bright idea to really injure my wing so I'd have difficulty flying?

Dr. M: It was Iggy…

Max: …

Ella: Uh…Max?

Max: Say goodbye to your boyfriend, Ella, 'cause you're never gonna be able to talk to him again when he's dead

Ella: -blushes- He's not my boyfriend, Max…why do you even think-

Max: NOW HE'S DEAD _AND_ A LIAR! -leaves to find Iggy-

D6: -sighs- Alright…so we need to wait for Max to have her wing fixed? -facepalm-

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_I ran a few steps and leaped upward, unfurling my wings and leaped upward, unfurling my wings, feeling them fill with air, wincing slightly as-_

Max: -crashes into tree- -falls through branches- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…

Ella: MAX!

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_I ran a few steps and leaped upward, unfurling my wings and leaped upward, unfurling my wings, feeling them fill with air, wincing slightly as my damaged muscles-_

Max: CRAMP! -falls-

Dr. M: Max!

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

_I ran a few steps and leaped upward, unfurling my wings and leaped upward, unfurling my wings, feeling them fill with air, wincing slightly as my damaged muscles pulled and-_

Max: -crashes into same tree-

Ella: -sighs-

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

D6: -has removed the tree and any other things that may screw Max up-

_I ran a few steps and leaped upward, unfurling my wings and leaped upward, unfurling my wings, feeling them fill with air, wincing slightly as my damaged muscles pulled and strained._

Fang: MAX!

Max: -backtracks- -crashes into different tree- -falls at Fang's feet-

Fang: Uh…

Max: What. Is. It. Fang?????

Fang: Do you wanna…go behind that rock?

Max: -looks at D6, then her mom, then Ella- Sure! -gets up- -goes behind the rock with Fang-

D6: I have been here for about one scene and I already want to quit!

Ella: We have that effect on people… -smirks-

**.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

**Me: So that's it...-yawns-**

**Oggy: ZZZZZZZ**

**Me: Yeah...that's my cue to go to bed...-yawns again-**

**R&R!?!??! Let me know what you think please :D**

**-Bell and Ig**


	3. Chapter 3

**Me: Hiya guys!**

**Iggy: -glares-**

**Me: Heh...Iggy is reeeaaalllyyyy hating me for writing this story...**

**Iggy: -says nothing- -continues to glare-**

**Me: Oh...and I think he's hating me for the Australian football game I took him to today...we are soooo tired that I'm practically falling asleep. Anyway, let's get to the actual AN before that happens.  
Firstly, a lot of you have been asking if I am going to do this for all the books. The answer is yes. I am about half-way through TAE so far, and will move onto SOF when I'm finished.  
Secondly, I forgot an important disclaimer:**

**_Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ST FANG OF BOREDOM!!!_ -cracks up- I did get her permission to add her into the story, but I do not in any way own her...heh...that would be too weird, lol. SORRY SAINT! -hugs-  
Thirdly, someone asked to bring Saint back...we'll see. I may or may not later on, but for now we'll just stick with this.  
Fourthly, I forgot to thank Matt for the idea of adding Saint into it...so thanks Matthias!  
Fifthly, I apologise for the swearing in this fic. I forgot and I should probably have mentioned it earlier...  
Sixthly, Iggy is gay  
Seventhly, Max is PMSing  
Eighthly, Fang is Bi**

**Iggy: I don't think the last three were necassary**

**Me: I do. Enjoy!**

_Then Ari was sitting on Fang's chest, punching him._

Fang: OW! You weren't supposed to actually hit me, Dog Breath!

Ari: Well, you didn't have to call me that, Bird Brain.

Fang: Bird brain? I'd rather be a bird than an ugly dog

Ari: And I'd rather be a dog than be Bi.

Fang: Take. That. Back.

Ari: Never.

Nudge: Guys?

Fang: Well, I know for a fact that you're gay!

Ari: -leans closer- And where did you get that insult? The same place you got that haircut?

Nudge: Guys???

Fang: Have you ever heard of a breath mint? 'Cause I think that the people in Australia could-

Nudge: GUYS!!!!!!!

Fang/Ari: What?

Nudge: Ari, you do know that you're sitting on top of Fang and it looks like-

Max: -walks in- -looks at the boys- ...

Fang: Uh...hi Max. GET OFF ME!

Max: ...

Ari: Yeah, hi Max...heh...-slowly stands up-

Max: Do I want to know?

Nudge: -scratches head- Probably not. -cracks up- Maybe Fang really is Bi.

Fang: I am not! We were...I was...he was...I...

Max: Nudge, you were right, I don't want to know. -leaves-

Fang: WAIT MAX! -runs after her-

Ari: That was awkward...

Nudge: Where did the director go?

Ari: He left! FINALLY!

D7: -walks in- I'm here!

Nudge: -sigh-

+-+-+

'_I. Am. In. Heaven,' I said, inhaling deeply._

_Dr. Martinez laughed. 'Watched cookies never brown,' she teased me._

_The three of us had actually made chocolate-chip cookies – from _scratch_ – tonight._

_I'd already eaten enough raw cookie dough to make myself sick, and now I was getting high off the fumes of gently baking cookies. I could see the chocolate chips melt, through the oven window._

Note to self: show Nudge and Angel how to make choc-chip cookies.

_If I ever saw Angel again._

Angel: Hi Max! Over here!

Iggy: Fail...

Max: Angel, did you do that on purpose?

Angel: Yeah, Fang told me to

Max: Fang!

Fang: -smirks-

D7: Are you guys always like this?

Iggy: Pfft, no!

Gazzy: We're usually-

BOOM!!!!

D7: What was that?

Max: Iggy and Gazzy

D7: ...

Dr. M: Anyway...

_Ella's mom took the first cookie sheet out of the oven and-_

BOOM!!!!!!!

Dr.M: Iggy! Gazzy!

Iggy/Gazzy: -runs-

+-+-+

_The house was burned to cinders. Every one of her friends except Fang was dead. She and Fang were totally on their own – maybe forever._

_Fang flapped up the side of the cliff and-_

Nudge: -bursts into hysterical laughter-

Fang: What?

Nudge: Y-your w-w-wings…-laughs more-

Fang: -frowns- -looks at wings- I don't see anything!

Nudge: On the back! It says 'Iggy rocks' in white paint… -is in hysterics- I think it…suits you -is laughing too hard to say anything else-

Fang:…IGGY!!!!!

+-+-+

_A shadow fell across me, and I glanced up, thinking, _helicopter! _But it wasn't – just a scattered flock of hawks above me, wheeling through the sky._

_I frowned and angled myself upward. Several of…wait, two of…?_

Max: One…two…where are Iggy and Gazzy?

Iggy/Gazzy: -stuffing their faces at the food table-

Max: GUYS! Get your butts in the scene!

Iggy: Oh, so now you want us to be with you guys? Pfft…

Max: What the hell are you talking about?

D7: Oh dear, Lord…

Gazzy: This has been a big reminder about how you left us behind and how you obviously don't want us to come!

Max: THAT WAS AGES AGO!!!!

Iggy: -shrug- -continues to eat-

D7: Wait, are you using that as an excuse so you can eat at the food table?!

Iggy: Uh…no?

Gazzy: Of course not…

Iggy: We would never do that…

Gazzy: IT'S UNAMERICAN!

Iggy: EXACTLY!

Max: …

D7: …

Iggy: Heh…

Gazzy: …

Max: …

Iggy: What's with all the silence?

Max: …

Gazzy: Uh…

D7: …

Iggy: Okay, okay, we're going…Geez…

Max/D7: -snickers-

+-+-+

_I hugged the Gasman, then Iggy, who was almost five inches taller than me, I realised. I hugged Nudge again, and she clung to me as I stroked her hair. 'It's okay, sweetie,' I said softly._

_Finally, she let me go and I reached out to hug Fang. Fang is not the huggiest person in the world-_

Fang: -hugs Max tight- -sucks on neck-

Max: Fang! You're not supposed to…

Fang: -smirks- -kisses Max's neck-

Iggy: Uh…should we leave?

Nudge: 'Cause this is just…disturbing

D7: Did they just…ugh! That's not right!

Fang: -groans- Max…

Iggy: That's it, I'm out of here!

Flock: YEAH!

Everyone: -runs-

Max/Fang: -cracks up-

Fang: Want to get some pizza?

Max: -shrug- Sure

-leaves-

+-+-+

_Time for news of my own._

'_I think I have a tracer chip implanted in me,' I said baldly, feeling a coaster-current in my face. I angled my wings and glided…straight into a tree._

Max: OW, DAMMIT!

Flock: -cracks up-

Max: Is this the _same_ freaking tree as before?

Iggy: Nope, you're just unco

Fang: And I'm glad that you kept the swearing to a_ minimum_ this time, _Maximum_.

Max: -eyeroll- I can say whatever I f***ing want! Now be quiet!

Gazzy: -sings- F***, f***, f***, f***, f***-

Max: DON'T SAY THAT!

Gazzy: But you just did!

Iggy: Heh…Max is PMSing

Max: I am not f***ing PMSing!

Iggy: Why would you want to f*** PMSing?

Max: Okay, I'm going to my trailer -leaves-

Fang: Hey, D7, what do we do now- oh, he's gone…

Iggy: 3…2…1

D8: Hi EVERYBODY!

Gazzy: Hi Doctor Nick!

Everyone: -stares at Gazzy-

Gazzy: I watch the Simpsons! So what?

D8: My name really is Nick…

Iggy: Can we just do the next scene?

D8Dr. Nick: PLACES EVERYONE!

+-+-+

'_We learned some stuff from the hawks,' Fang said, seeing me watch them…_

Hawk: -falls out of the sky-

-hawks start randomly falling-

Max: Okay…WTH?

Iggy: EW! GAZZY! -coughs- -starts falling out of the sky-

Gazzy: -cackles-

Fang: Anyone gonna save him?

Max: Nope.

Fang: Why not?

Max: I'm _apparently_ PMSing. I'm not in the mood to save him

Fang: …-shrug- Okay

Flock: -flies off-

D8Dr. Nick: -facepalm-

+-+-+

_I was interrupted by the squeal of a car pulling in. _

_Without speaking, we drew back into a clump of bushes by the side of the building-_

Iggy: -walks into the building- Ow…

Max: How did you manage that? You only needed to take three steps backward!

Iggy: Oh, sorry, I was so distracted by your PMSing that I forgot how many steps to take

Max: -starts arguing with Iggy-

Ari: -is talking to the 'Jerk' **(AN: As in the Jerk that they steal the credit card from. Look it up in the book if you don't remember)**- So…

Jerk: Uh…

Ari: Do you think Max is PMSing, or is Iggy wrong?

Jerk: -shrugs- I'm only hired to play some jerk guy…

Ari: So? You have an opinion right?

Jerk: Well…

Ari: What's your opinion?

Jerk: PMsing

Ari: Definitely

Iggy: -stops arguing with Max- -cracks up-

Max: -is fuming-

Fang: Wow…maybe you are PMSing…

Max: I AM NOT PMSING!!!!!

Flock: Yes you are

Max: -storms off-

Nudge: Did you really get distracted by Max's PMSing, or did you really walk into that wall?

Iggy: …no comment.

+-+-+

_You might not know this, but ATM's have a built in limit of how much dough they're willing to give you at one time. So our plans to buy our own country crumbled. However, it was willing to give me two hundred bucks._

_**PLEASE RE-ENTER YOU PIN.**_

'_Oh no,' I groaned. 'Did anyone see it?'_

'_I _heard _it,' said Iggy slowly._

'_I think if we put in the wrong code more than twice the whole thing shuts down and swallows the card,' said Fang._

'_Can you do it?' I asked Iggy._

'_Um, I'll try…' Iggy hesitantly put his hand over the keypad. His sensitive fingers orientated themselves to the keys._

'_It's okay, Ig,' said Fang. 'Just give it your best shot.'_

_Sometimes the Fangster is incredibly supportive, just not with me._

_Iggy punched in five numbers and we all held our breaths_

_**ACCESS DENIED. PLEASE CHECK YOUR PIN AND TRY AGAIN.**_

'_Try again,' I said tensely. 'You've got the best ears on the planet.'_

_Once again Iggy's pale hand hovered over the keyboard. He concentrated and punched in five numbers._

_**ACCESS DENIED. THANKYOU AND GOODBYE.**_

Fang: Okay, how come you could do this the first time but not the second? There's, like, no pressure this time!

Iggy: Let me try again, ok?

D8Dr. Nick: Alright, try it again…

_Once again, Iggy's pale hand hovered over the keyboard. He concentrated and punched in five numbers._

_**ACCESS DENIED. THANKYOU AND GOODBYE.**_

Max: -bites lip to keep from laughing-

Iggy: Shut up, Max.

Gazzy: Try again.

_**ACCESS DENIED. GIVE UP AND NEVER COME BACK.**_

Iggy: Hey, it has a sense of humour!!!

Nudge: Unlike you

Iggy: HEY!

Max: Just get it right!

_**ACCESS DENIED. YOU SHOULD REALLY GIVE UP, IGGY**_

Iggy: …

_**MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO AND FIND A BOYFRIEND…OR AT LEAST A DOG.**_

Iggy: WTF?

_**OR MAYBE YOU COULD ADMIT YOUR TRUE SEXUALITY. AND THAT YOU LOVE GAZZY.**_

Gazzy: WHAT!??!?!

Iggy: THAT'S NOT TRUE!!! I'M NOT GAY OR IN LOVE WITH GAZZY!!!

Nudge/Fang: -bursts into hysterical laughter-

Max: That was you two? -laughs-

Nudge: Fang's idea, I just messed with it using my skill

Iggy: FANG!!!!!

+-+-+

_I smiled bravely over at Fang to see him giving me a steady look. 'What?'_

'_Could you take it easy on the hairpin turns?' he said._

'_I'm getting better,' I said. 'I just had to practise-'_

-car crashes into a tree-

Max: Ow…report?

Angel: -rushes onto the set- Is everyone okay?

Iggy: Angel, _Max_ was _driving! _Oww…

Angel: Oh, should I get the firstaid kit? A doctor? An Ambulance? Or is everyone dead already? I'm surprised that the car is still in one piece-

Max: -coughs- Very funny Angel

D8Dr. Nick: Is everyone alright?

Gazzy: No Dr. Nick

Max: Will you stop calling him that?!

Gazzy: I'll stop when you-

Max: Say that I'm PMSing and you will learn the true meaning of the word

Gazz: O_o

D8Dr. Nick: So…Do I need to call an ambulance?

Everyone in the beat-up car: **YES!!!!**

D8Dr. Nick: Oka- Wait…are Max and Fang making out in the front seat?

Iggy: You have got to be kidding me!

Gazzy: Not again! GET ME OUTTA HERE! -shakes desparately at the doors-

Max: -moans-

Iggy: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

Angel -laughs-

+-+-+

_Nudge was tearing into her cheese-bun things, Fang was on his second burger, Iggy could hardly breathe through all the food in his mouth…_

Max: Igs, are you okay. You look a little green…

Iggy: I…don't…think…so…-pukes-

Nudge: EWW!!! IGGY!

Iggy: -continues to vomit all over the floor-

Fang: -smirks-

Max: Do not tell me that this was you again!

Fang: What? I only gave him a two month old burger

Iggy: WHAT!?!?

Fang: -shrug- Payback for everything you've done to me lately

Iggy: But you pranked me before with the ATM! It was my turn!

Fang: So? I was just too fast for you. I'm Ninja.

Iggy: _Emo_, you mean

Fang: Oh, as if you can talk, Iggy the blind, gay and stupid

Iggy: I am not gay or stupid, and you're BI!

Fang: Well you're-

Max: ENOUGH! Your pranks are really getting on my nerves. -stands up- When you've sorted it out, come and talk to me. -leaves in a huff-

Everyone: -looks at each other-

...

...

...

...

...

...

PMSing.

Nudge: Oh…D8Dr. Nick is gone

Fang: -shrug-

D: Hello, I'm D…wait, where are we up to?

Iggy: Lost count. Too many of you

D: Fine then, I'll be Dwhatever

Iggy: Whatever

Fang: Whatever

Nudge: Whatever

Gazzy: Whatever

DWhatever: Uh…

**Me: So there you go...**

**Iggy: I am not gay**

**Me: Fine then, you're just blind and stupid**

**Iggy: -facepalm-**

**Me: This chapter wasn't as good as the others...but R&R?**

**-Bell and Ig**


	4. Chapter 4

**Me: Well, I think it's about time I updated this**

**Iggy: you've had writers block for too long...**

**Me: Yeah, I know and I hate it...but I've been going through some...interesting emotions lately and I'm finding them hard to sort through...-sigh-**

**Iggy: You mean-**

**Me: No. Not. Another. Word.**

**Iggy: ...-shuts up-**

**Me: Exactly. Say nothing and you will live. **

**Iggy: -bites lip hard-**

**Me: Good boy. Alright, something I should probably mention, Ari has been magically brought back from the dead by J.P. How? I don't know. But I need to somehow make this story work so...-shrug-**

**Iggy: -is continuing to say nothing-**

**Me: Some side-kick you are. Anyway, enjoy the chapter guys. There's some stuff in there that I don't really like, so you might want to review and tell me what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the llama song, MR, that blonde joke...yeah, none of it**

**I DO however own this quote: "THE DRUGS ISH NOT IN ME SAYS MOMMY!" Heh, that's what happens when it's 2am, I'm high and I'm texting Matt...**

**Iggy: She couldn't remember what had happened the next day. Matt had to fill her in...**

**Me: Anyway, on with the chapter**

_Giving no sign that they heard me, Nudge and Iggy kept chewing. Nudge took a casual sip of her shake. Then, in a burst, she leaped up, sprang off our table and practically crashed through the fire door. The Gasman was practically glued to her back._

_I was so proud of them._

_The alarm started clanging, but I was right behind them – and Fang and Iggy were on my heels. We made it to the van before the Erasers were out the door._

_Inside, I jammed the key in the ignition and…_

Max: Iggy! GET IN THE DAMN CAR!

Iggy: Not with you driving

Max: And why not?

Iggy: One, you're still PMSing. It isn't safe for you to drive. Two, it's _you _who's driving and three, no one else is in the car with you…

Max: -looks back at empty car- Oh…

Flock: Heh…

Dwhatever: Everyone, in the car!

Gazzy: -mimics- Everyone, in the car!

Dwhatever: Stop that!

Gazzy: Stop that!

Dwhatever: Don't make me come over there

Gazzy: Don't make me come over there

Dwhatever: Oh, I see how it is

Gazzy: Oh, I see how it is

Dwhatever: GAZZY IS A PEDO!

Gazzy: 0_o -cries-

Fang: Dude, that's just not cool

Dwhatever: But he was mimicking me!

Nudge: But that gives you no right to say that!

Max: -pushes up sleeves- -walks toward Dwhatever-

Dwhatever: -runs-

Gazzy: Yay! He's gone!

DD: Yo, whazzup homegawgs!

Flock: …

DD: Whhoooaaaa, you guys have them wings. Awwweeessooommmeeee

Max: Uh…

Flock: …

J.P.: Guys, we're really running out of Directors now

Max: I can see that…

**-End scene-**

'_It's just my nose,' I assured her. 'Head wounds always bleed a lot. Look, it's already stopping.' A lie._

'_I feel like, like pudding,' Iggy groaned. 'Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great-'_

Gazzy: -cracks up-

Max: Gazzy! –looks at Iggy- -laughs too-

Iggy: What?

Nudge: Your face! It's covered in makeup!

Iggy: So? Yours is too…

Nudge: Mine is makeup for the bruised effect! Yours is girl makeup

Iggy: But Fang…Fang…-growls- Fang.

Fang: -gets out of the car- -flies off-

Iggy: GET BACK HERE, FANG!

DD: Dude, that was, like, so not cool!

Flock: …

Max: Yeah, we're still getting used to that.

******-End scene-**

_I'm hallucinating, I thought dazedly. I'm having an out of body experience._

_Everything else in my vision faded away. I could see only Jeb, smiling at me through the bars of my dog crate. Jeb had been the only-_

-phone rings-

Max: Nudge! Where did you get that cellphone?

Nudge: -shrugs- I'm sorry!

Max: Who the heck would be calling you _now_?

Nudge: My agent!

Max: …since when do you have an agent?

Nudge: Hello? Yeah...Uh-huh...Yeah...What? Oh…

Max: …

DD: Duuudddeeee, this is sooo not cooool

Max: -eyeroll-

Nudge: Okay, I'll get him. FAAAAANNNNNGGGGG!

Fang: What?

Nudge: My agent wants to talk to you!

Fang: Why?

Nudge: It's important! -hands Fang the phone through the cage bars-

Fang: Hello?

Agent: Hello, Fang. I am here to bring you very important news. You will be the first to die

Fang: Uh…you're, like, five books early

Agent: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Fang: Okay…are you on drugs?

Agent: THE DRUGS ISH NOT IN ME SAYS MOMMY!

Fang: 0_o

Agent: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY LLAMA, FANG?

Fang: Your…huh?

Agent: SKITTLES STOLE YOUR LIPGLOSS FANG!

Fang: Who stole my what?

Agent: WATCH OUT, FANG! SHE'S GONNA TAKE OVER THE LIPGLOSSES! YOU MUST STOP HER!

Fang: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE IS!

Agent: Yeah, I knew that you were Bi!

Fang: I AM NOT- Wait…Iggy?

Agent/Iggy: No, uh…HOW COULD YOU NOT-

Fang: IGGY!

Agent/Iggy: -hangs up-

Fang: -shakes the cage bars- LET ME OUT OF HERE!

Iggy: -comes on set- Why do you think I called you in this scene?

Fang: IGGY! WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE YOU ARE SO DEAD-

Jeb: -opens the cage door-

Fang: -attacks Iggy-

Iggy: -runs-

Nudge: So you're on Fang's side?

Jeb: No, I just wanted to see a fight

Max: Okay…

Jeb: And to see if Fang's Bi-

Max: Alright, I've heard enough -gets out of cage-

Nudge: I thought these were locked…

Max: Fang was too stupid to notice that they weren't -leaves-

DD: Duuuuuuddddeeee, that was fully sick, bro!

Jeb and Nudge: …

DD: What, ya homedawgs?

J.P.: …I can't take this anymore. You're fired

Nudge/Jeb: YES!

D11: And I'm here to help!

Nudge/Jeb: -sigh-

**-End scene-**

_We walked past a bank of computers, out of sight of the others. A door in the far wall led into a smaller, less lab-like room, furnished with couches, a table and chairs, a TV-_

Iggy: -cracks up-

Max: What?

Iggy: It's…it's a…-laughs more-

Max: What?

Fang: It's a _microwave, _Max. Not a TV…-holds back laughter-

Max: Oh…but it really looks like a TV. Why is that so funny?

Iggy: A-

Fang: Iggy, don't go there if you value your life

Iggy: …..

Fang: Iggy, don't do it…

Max: -is confused-

Iggy: …..A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.  
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.  
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.  
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.  
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.  
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.  
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"  
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says, "That's not a TV - it's a microwave!

-bursts into hysterical laughter-

Max: …

Fang: Uh…Max?

Max: -eye twitches-

Iggy: What a total blonde moment, Max!

Max: YOU'RE DEAD!

Iggy: …eep -runs-

D11: -is confused- I don't get it…

Fang: -facepalm- The blonde thought that the microwave was a TV…

D11: ...

Fang: -looks at J.P. for help-

J.P.: Heh…we're slowly losing Directors…

Fang: About time…

**-End scene-**

_Max, that reason, that purpose is: you are supposed to _save the world.

-serious silence-

Jeb: -farts-

Everyone: -cracks up-

Max: Way to ruin a serious moment, Jeb.

Gazzy: I CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT! -lets one rip-

Nudge: Ugh! Gazzy! Not you too!

D9: Okay, everyone! Try again!

Angel: -has hand over her nose- Can we wait until the stench is gone- GAZZY! THIS IS REPULSIVE!

Gazzy: -cackles wildly-

J.P.: -sigh- -goes to get a fan-

**-End scene-**

_Max, that reason, that purpose is: you are supposed to _save the-

Jeb: -farts again-

Max: WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN EATING?

Iggy: Probably Total's dog food

Jeb: -glares-

Iggy: Sorry, _you _didn't eat it. I put it in Fang's sandwich…

Fang: -freezes in mid-chew- -starts gagging up sandwich-

Iggy: -cracks up-

Fang: ….

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

IGGY!

**-End scene-**

_So I couldn't go over our plan, offer reassurance, or even freak out and say 'Oh my God! Jeb is alive!'_

…

…

Max: Angel? Your line!

Angel: -is curled up in the corner of her cage with her iPod on-

Max: -sigh-

D11: CUT! Okay, guys! Remember that the next few scenes are really, really serious and require proper attention, alright?

Fang: -is chewing gum while leaning back in his cage while listening to his ipod-

D11: Uh…Fang, can you pay attention?

Fang: If by paying attention you mean 'turning up my iPod full blast within the next minute' then yeah, I'll pay attention

D11: What's happening within the next minute?

Fang: Iggy will do something stupid

Max: Why does that not surprise me? What's he doing?

Fang: …karaoke…

Max: Oh God! -takes out her own iPod-

Gazzy: -runs in- What's going on?

Fang: Iggy's gonna sing!

Gazzy: -runs out of the room screaming-

Iggy: -comes in- -walks up to the karaoke machine-

Nudge: Uh…maybe we shouldn't be in the cages right now…

Max: What?

Nudge: I SAID, MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T BE IN OUR CAGES RIGHT NOW!

Max: WHAT?

Nudge: I SAID- Nevermind…-gets out iPod-

Iggy: -opens mouth- HERE'S A LLAMA

THERE'S A LLAMA

AND ANOTHER LITTLE LLAMA

FUZZY LLAMA

FUNNY LLAMA

LLAMA LLAMA DUCK!

LLAMA LLAMA

CHEESECAKE

LLAMA

TABLET

BRICK

POTATO

LLAMA

LLAMA LLAMA

MUSHROOM

LLAMA

LLAMA LLAMA

DUCK!

Max: FANG!

Fang: YEAH?

Max: I CAN STILL HEAR HIM OVER THE IPOD!

Fang: WE'RE GONNA DIE! LOOK AT D11- He's gone…

Iggy: -continues to sing loudly and off key-

Max: SOMEONE SAVE US!

Jeb: -unplugs karaoke machine-

Iggy: Aww…

Nudge: YOU SAVED US JEB!

Jeb: Max, how do you expect to save the world if you can't save the Flock from Iggy's bad singing?

Max: …

Iggy: Max couldn't save the world anyway. She'd be too busy being blonde and PMSing

Max: …

Nudge: Iggy, how stupid are you?

Iggy: -shrug- Have you been listening to my jokes lately? They're classic!

Fang: What Nudge is trying to say is that you're an idiot.

Iggy: Thankyou Fang

Fang: Anytime :D

Max: -breaks out of her cage-

Iggy: -runs again-

D11: -comes out from hiding place- DO YOU GUYS TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY?

Nudge: Heh…'seriously' is a funny word

D11: -eye twitches- -leaves-

Nudge/Fang/ Angel: YES!

J.P.: That's it, guys. _I'm _directing

Nudge/ Fang/Angel: 0_o

J.P.: -smirks-

**-End scene-**

'_I count only four,' a man said in a prissy, concerned voice._

'_Two bought it,' Ari said, sounding triumphant._

Iggy: -from the cast seat- THAT'S 'CAUSE WE'RE AWESOME!

Gazzy: YEAH! WAY MORE AWESOME THAN YOU! -highfives Iggy-

Ari: -eyeroll- Just because you escaped doesn't make you awesome. I caught most of your family, remember?

Iggy: So? You missed us because you were blinded by our awesomeness!

Ari: …said the blind boy…

Iggy: …

Gazzy: He has you there, Iggy

J.P.: Hello? We were filming a scene here!

Iggy: …J.P. is getting old.

J.P.: O_o

Iggy: No, not you personally. I meant you're _name. _Can I call you, Jimmy P?

J.P.: No…

Iggy: Okay, okay…how about…Jimmy Pinkerstein!

J.P.: …

Iggy: Aww…how about-

J.P.: J.P. is fine…

Iggy: What about-

Max: You really need to learn how to control your own characters

J.P.: But-

Gazzy: Maaaaaaaxxxxxx, Angel pinched me!

Angel: I did not!

Gazzy: Did too!

Angel: Did not!

Ari: I don't get enough time in the series!

Iggy: Hmm, there's gotta be another name for you, man…Oh, what about J-man!

Nudge: And I want a pony!

-Everyone shouts at J.P. at once-

J.P.:…EEENNNNOOOUUUGGGHHHHH!

Flock: 0_o

J.P.: I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! -goes to find a new Director- I'll be back in a week!

Nudge: So now what?

Max: …

Fang: …

Gazzy: …

Angel: …

Iggy: …

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

KARAOKE-

Everyone: NO!

**Me: Okay, no offence to blondes, that's just Iggy being an idiot...also, I'm almost blonde so...-shrug- **

**Iggy: The jokes are more fun than anything**

**Me: -nod- Yeah...okay, I'm updating this now. PLEASE REVIEW!**

**-Bell and Ig**


	5. Chapter 5

**Me: Heh...hey guys! Long time no see**

**Iggy: Also long time no write. Bell, you fail**

**Me: -sigh- Yeah, I know, I've been told that. Sorry it's been such a long time...but there's been so much school work lately and meh...I can't find the right balance. BUT, I'm sick right now which is why I've had time to write today :)**

**Iggy: Yeah, but I avoid her as much as possible 'cause she coughs everywhere and I don't want to get sick. Speaking of which, can we hurry this AN up? I want to get out of here before I catch whatever the heck you have**

**Me: Alright, alright...but I just wanted to say some things to a few of my reviewers...meh, I'll put it at the bottom. read the AN at the bottom if you see your name.**

**I'd also like to thank Tgypwya (Matt) for giving me a few joke ideas and a great layout for the scores between Fang and Iggy. This chapter is dedicated to you :) (h)**

**Alright, enough of me rambling. This chapter...is nowhere near as good as the rest guys, so I apologise. But I hope you enjoy it anyway.**

_In the dictionary, next to the word 'tension' there is a picture of a mid-size mutant stuck inside a dog crate, wondering if her destiny is to be killed or to save the world._

Iggy: Yeah, and next to the words 'PMS' and 'blonde' there's a picture of Maximum Ride.

Gazzy: And next to the word 'blind' and 'gay' is a picture of Iggy! Oo, I like this game. Who's next?

Max: No one! Because I'd like to point out that I'm not the only blonde one here, Iggy! Gazzy and Angel and…you know, you're kind of blonde too…

Iggy: …

Fang: Fail, Iggy. (Iggy -1)

Iggy: Wait, since when is there a score?

Fang: Since I'm waiting for you to fail more than once today.

Iggy: -glares-

Angel: -is crying-

Gazzy: You think I'm stupid, Iggy?

Iggy: No, of course not-

Gazzy: WHY DO YOU HATE ME?

Iggy: I don't-

Fang: Yeah, Iggy, why do you hate Gazzy? You shouldn't have told all of those blonde jokes that were _definitely _aimed at him! (Fang 1, Iggy -2)

Gazzy: -sniffle- Is this true, Iggy?

Iggy: No-

Fang: Yes, Gazzy, it's true. There's no other way to tell you. I'm so sorry. (Fang 2, Iggy -3)

Gazzy: -leaves-

Iggy: Fang?

Fang: Yes, my dear friend Iggy?

Iggy: Why do you hate me?

Fang: There's a never ending list of reasons. (Fang 3, Iggy -4)

D10: Guys! Quit arguing and get back on task!

Iggy: Hmm…but I have another joke!

D10: Iggy, no! Leave so we can get this scene right!

Iggy: Only after I tell my joke!

D10: -eyeroll- Fine.

Iggy: If a blonde and an emo jump off a bridge, who will drown first?

Max: Oh God…

Iggy: The-

Fang: The blonde, because the blonde was in fact Iggy who was too busy telling lame jokes to remember to spread his wings and fly before he hit the water. (Fang 4, Iggy -5)

Iggy: 0_o

Nudge: Owned.

Fang: Or would you rather the answer be, 'the blonde, because Fang showed up out of nowhere and beat him senseless for calling him emo?' (Fang 5, Iggy -6)

Iggy: -runs- (Fang 6, Iggy -7)

Fang: -chases- (Fang 7, Iggy -8)

D10: -facepalm- How much more of the book is left?

Max: Not even halfway.

D10: Kill me.

…

_After that all I could do was send meaningful glances. For hours._

Nudge: Are we really supposed to sit here for hours and just stare at each other? I mean, that was great and all but I don't think that under these fake circumstances that I could really just sit here and stare at everyone for hours 'cause I'd die of boredom. And I mean it! There's just so much to look at and so much to say and just so much to do and I'm stuck here in this crate staring at everyone for hours! And furthermore-

Max: NUDGE!

Nudge: …what I'm wondering is why you didn't cut me off sooner!

Max: Everyone is asleep…

Nudge: -looks around- Oh…I TOLD YOU THAT STARING AT PEOPLE FOR HOURS DOESN'T WORK!

Max: Uh-huh.

Nudge: Why are you still awake?

Max: Uh…

Nudge: You're making out with Fang again, aren't you?

Max: …

Nudge: -eyeroll- -gets out of the cage- -leaves-

Max: -shrug- -continues kissing her boyfriend passionately-

Fang: Nice wording.

Max: I try.

…

_But I was smiling now. My first really good smile in days.  
I knew what the storm clouds were.  
They were hawks – led by Iggy and the Gasman, who else? And they were storming the school to save us._

Iggy: INFERNODUDE AND FARTMAN TO THE RESCUE!

Gazzy: DA DA DA DAAAAAAA!

Max: What is with the capes…and the tights…and the underwear on the outside…uh…

Gazzy: I am the mighty Fartman! And this is my side-kick infernodude!

Flock/Ari/Jeb/D10/J.P.: …

Fang: …that sentence counts as a fail on Iggy's part. (Fang 7, Iggy -9)

Flock/Jeb/Ari/D10/J.P.: -continue to stare in silence-

Infernodude: Don't be too stunned by our pure awesomeness! Not everyone can be as awesome as Infernodude and Fartman!

Fang: Yeah, and no one can be as blind either. Why didn't you call yourself 'The Mole'? (Fang 8, Iggy -10)

Flock/Ari/Jeb: -cracks up-

Fang: Or, even better, we all know that your name's only 'Iggy' because J.P.'s Publisher refused the name 'Ig-gay.'

Everyone: -laughs harder- (Fang 9, Iggy -11)

Infernodude: Who is this 'Iggy' you speak of? I am Infernodude! (Fang 10, Iggy -12)

Fang: Well, 'Infernodude' why don't you go find Iggy and tell him that he's about as straight as a circle. (Fang 11, Iggy -13)

Infernodude: I'm sure that if Iggy were here he'd like to point out that you're Bi.

Fang: Well, I'm not the one wearing red _tights_. (Fang 12, Iggy -14)

Flock: -laughs harder-

Iggy: Those were Gazzy's idea!

Fang: Suuurrreeee they were. I'm almost certain that you _like _wearing tights. I think I've actually seen you wear those while you were sleeping... (Fang 13, Iggy -15)

D10: -is stunned- Is this…normal?

Fang: For the flock, no, for Iggy, all the time. Especially the idea of wearing underwear on the outside of his tights. It's his favourite item of clothing to wear. (Fang 14, Iggy -16)

Infernodude: Hey!

Fang: -raises eyebrow-

Infernodude: …I mean…Hey! Stop teasing Iggy! He sounds like a great person!

Fang: I'm counting that one as a fail too as it's a lie. (Fang 15, Iggy -17) Alright then, and while I'm at it I should mention what else is normal for Iggy.

Infernodude: Oh no…

Fang: Oh yes.

It's normal for Iggy to have an addiction to neopets online game. (Fang 16, Iggy -18)

It's normal for Iggy to sleep with his blanky and suck his thumb most occasions. (Fang 17, Iggy -19)

It's normal for Iggy to try on girl's clothing to see what it feels like. (Fang 18, Iggy -20)

It's normal for Iggy to be this annoying and braindead. (Fang 19, Iggy -21)

It's normal for Iggy to-

Iggy: OKAY, FINE! JUST SHUT UP!

Fang: I win?

Iggy: YES! (Fang 20, Iggy -22)

Fang: IS MY PRIZE GETTING TO KICK IGGY OFF SET?

D10: Uh…

J.P.: No, we need him for the book-

D10: Sure, Fang.

Fang: YAY! (Fang 21, Iggy -23)

Iggy: WHAT?

Fang: -drags Iggy off set- -locks him out- There. This is the best day ever!

Iggy: -walks in-

Fang: …

Iggy: You forgot that I could pick locks! YOU FAILED! (Fang 20, Iggy -22)

Fang: It's not that…your tights ripped…

Iggy: ….crap.

Fang:...so did your boxers...

Iggy: S***

Everyone: -laughs-

(Fang 30, Iggy -32)

…

'_I mean,' I said, feeling really self-conscious, 'this made me realize how much we all need each other. I need _all _of you. I love you all. But five of us, or three of us, or two of us isn't _us_. Us is all six.'  
Fang was examining his sneakers with great interest-_

Iggy: 0_o

Max: What?

Iggy: "Fang was examining his sneakers with great _**incest**__"?_

Max: -eyeroll- _Interest, _Iggy, _interest._

Angel: Incest? What's that?

Max: IGGY!

Iggy: What?

Fang: Fail. (Fang 31, Iggy -33)

Iggy: Wait, how do I fail? Fang's sneakers were the ones bent on incest!

Angel: -reads Iggy's mind- Ooohhh, so that's what incest is.

Max: -facepalm- you are in so much trouble, Iggy!

Angel: It's not that bad, Max! Sneakers having sex with other sneakers is perfectly fine!

Iggy: …-bursts into hysterical laughter-

Angel: What?

J.P.: D10 just left…

Iggy: …to be incest with his brother. God bless his soul.

Max: -facepalm-

D11: I'm here, peeps!

Flock: -has actually stopped caring about the directors now 'cause there have been too many-

…

_Tears streamed from my eyes, and me hands clutched my head, to keep the pain from splitting my skull wide open. The only semi-coherent thought I had was, _Please let me go splat soon, so this freaking pain will stopstopSTOP.

_Then, Fang's…_

Max: -opens her eyes- -falls into a tree- Ow…ow…ow…ow…OW! FANG!

Fang: Yeah? Whoops...heh...guess I wasn't paying attention...

Max: What the hell were you doing while I was falling out of the freaking sky?

Iggy: I bet that he was staring at you and having wild fantasies about doing unexplainable things to you. (Fang 30, Iggy -32)

Everyone: …

Iggy: What?

Nudge: No, Iggy, just no.

Gazzy: That's not right.

Fang: -glares- (Fang 32, Iggy -34) I bet that that's what you were doing about Ella.

Everyone: -laughs- (Fang 33, Iggy -35)

Iggy: OH COME ON! WHY DO YOU LAUGH AT HIS JOKE?

Max: What have you been thinking about doing to Ella?

Iggy: -gulps-

Fang: -snickers- (Fang 34, Iggy -35)

D11: Guys! Back to the scene! Max is-

Iggy: PMSING!

Max: That's it. -gets out of the tree- -goes to attack Iggy-

D11: I don't get paid enough for this. I quit. -leaves-

Max: -is currently fighting with Iggy-

J.P.: -sighs-

Nudge: Uh…yay, we got rid of another director?

Gazzy: -shrug-

D12: Alright everyone! Let's move it!

Gazzy: D12? Boring. Got another name?

D12: Sheldon.

Gazzy: …no, seriously, what's your name?

D12: …Sheldon?

Gazzy…I'm gonna call you Shelly!

Shelly: -facepalm-

…

_I shot him a look, then helped Nudge and Angel surround the pile of kindling with big stones. Why was the blind guy playing with matches, you ask? Because he's good at it. Anything to do with fire: igniting things, exploding things, things with fuses, wicks, accelerants…Iggy's your man. It's one of those good/bad things._

Iggy: -lights fire-

Fire: VWWWOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHH! -becomes really big really quickly then dies-

Flock: …

Iggy: -eyebrows are almost burnt off-

Fang: I may have accidently put a little something in the fire…

Iggy: …

…

…

…

…

…

…

FANG!

(Fang 35, Iggy -37)

Shelly: We gonna wait for Iggy's eyebrows to grow back?

J.P.: Unfortunately…

Shelly: Do I get a pay rise?

J.P.: No.

Shelly: But all of this isn't worth it.

J.P.: No.

Shelly: But-

J.P.: NO!

Max: Guys! Have this conversation somewhere else 'cause we don't give a fnick!

Gazzy: -giggles- You said 'fnick'

Max: Oh brother…

**Me: And...there you have it. Now, a few notes to some of my reviewers:**

**_randombookworm _- Iggy: Question Bell's sanity? Don't question something that doesn't exist. Me: -holds up herring to whack him- -puts down- Meh...he has a point.******

_**DarkAngelWithWings159  
**_**Meso the Hanyu - Me: Yesh, Iggy ish kinda blonde but everyone was too distracted by Max's blondeness and PMSing to realise it...so sad... Iggy: -smirks- Me: Thanks for giving me another idea for this chapter guys!**

**_Caris. L Clearwater_ - Me: yeah, most stories that have a dialogue like this have lack of periods at the end of sentences...it's almost like a style. However, just to make it easier for you I added periods :) I hope that helps**

**Iggy: ...**

**Me: -holds back laughter-**

**Iggy: You. Are. Gonna. Die.**

**Me: Hey! Don't get angry at me! It's not my fault that you are more fail than Fang is :P**

**Iggy: -starts plotting his revenge on Fang-**

**Me: ...he hasn't done anything to you-**

**Iggy: Yet! Yet. -goes to twitter to tell Fang of his plans-**

**Me: Oh great...this should be interesting...anyway, it wasn't a very good chapter, but R&R?**

**-Bell and Ig**


	6. Chapter 6

**Me: I could waste my time outlining why I haven't updated in so long, but I'm sure that you'd rather just read, right? yeah, that's what I thought. Let's just blame it on writers block (everytime I went to write this fic, I couldn't think of anything to write ;( so sad...) and leave it at that.**

**Iggy: -is sleeping-**

**Me: ...I'm sooo tired...I'm just gonna post this and then get the heck to bed.**

**Sorry guys, it's not as funny as usual. And it's shorter. A longer update will come...and sooner hopefully :)**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride, the song Fergalicious...or Snuggies :) You'll see why, guys, you'll see.**_

**Also, ignore my mocking of the snuggie. I'm tired and was obsessed with mocking them ;)**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

'_I heard stuff,' she said, almost whispering._

_I gathered her closer-_

Ari: Rwar!

Fang: That's my line!

Max: And this isn't your scene!

Iggy: Fang's bi!

Fang: Iggy's gay!

Angel: Shelly! Nudge is poking me!

Shelly: Shut up!

Max: Nudge, stop poking Angel!

Nudge: But I wasn't!

Gazzy: -looks around at everyone shouting-

Ari: Rwar?

Fang: Say that one more time and I'll sue you!

Iggy: RWAR!

Fang: -kicks Iggy where it counts-

Iggy: -falls to the floor in pain-

Gazzy: -continues to stare-

Max: Everyone-

Iggy: -from the floor- Shut up, Max, no one wants to hear what you have to say.

Max: Excuse me?

Fang: He said-

Gazzy: I WANTS A BAGEL!

Everyone: -stares-

Gazzy:…AND MY TALKING LLAMA!

Shelly: That's great, Gaz. Now everyone shut up and get back to the flipping scene already!

Everyone: -grumbles-

Ari: Rwar?

Max: -holds Fang back from attacking Ari-

**…**

'_The Institute?' I asked. 'In New York City, or upstate New York?'_

'_I don't know,' Angel said. 'I _think _it was called the Institute. The Living Institute or something.'_

Iggy: Yes, because it comes alive at night and eats children.

Everyone: …

Fang: You're not funny, Iggy. If you were, we wouldn't have started that fail counter.

Iggy: -farts-

Gazzy: AND NOW HE'S STEALING MY THING!

Nudge: Iggy, how could you?

Iggy: But I-

Ari: RWAR!

Fang: WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE?

Shelly: -beats head against a folder-

**…**

_I think if a twig had snapped right then, we all would have leaped ten feet into the air._

'_You've saved this on yesterday…since?'_

Iggy: Ugh, sorry guys…tongue tied.

Max: Been there done that.

Fang: When you swore like a sailor?

Max: Shut the F*** up, Fang.

Flock: Oooooooooo.

Nudge: MAX! If you want to swear, say something nicer…like frosticles.

Max: …okay…

Shelly: Again, everyone!

**…**

_I think if a twig had snapped right then, we all would have leaped ten feet into the air._

'_You've sat on this-'_

Iggy: -cracks up-

Flock: -sigh-

Iggy: I'm sorry, I'm sorry…serious moment and I'm messing it up.

Fang: What else is new?

Shelly: Alright everyone, take three.

**…**

_I think if a twig had snapped right then, we all would have leaped ten feet into the air._

'_You've s-s-s-sat on th-th-th-this since…"_

Iggy: -laughs again-

Flock: -groans-

Max: What is so funny?

Iggy: Frosticles…-laughs harder-

Max: Really? You're so immature.

Iggy: Well you-

Shelly: TAKE FOUR!

**…**

_I think if a twig had snapped right then, we all would have leaped ten feet into the air._

'_You-"_

Iggy: -cracks up-

Flock: -glares-

**...**

Shelly: Take 27…-yawn-

Max: -grounds the words out- I. think. If. A. twig. Had. Snapped. Right. Then. We. All. Would. Have. Leaped. Ten. Feet. Into. The. Air.

Flock: -looks towards Iggy-

Iggy: 'You've sat on this since yesterday?'

Flock: FINALLY!

Iggy: 'What's the matter-' -laughs-

Flock: IGGY!

Fang: THAT IS IT!

'_You've sat on this since yesterday?' _Fang _sounded outraged. 'What's the matter with you? Just because you're the youngest doesn't mean that you have to be the dumbest.'_

Fang: It's not that freaking hard!

Angel: -sniffle- You think I'm dumb, Fang?

Fang: No, Ange, I was reading the script-

Angel: But it wasn't your line!

Iggy: What's this? Did Fang just…fail?

Fang: …

Iggy: Tut, tut, tut, Fangles. (Fang -1, Iggy 1)

Fang: Oh, no, no, no! You can't reset the counter, Iggy.

Iggy: Yes I can.

Fang: The counter must not be reset!

Random person #1: He's right you know.

Iggy: Who the hell are you?

Random Person #1: -holds up a snuggie-

You wanna keep warm when you're feeling chilled

But you don't want to raise your heating bill

Blankets are ok, but they can slip and slide

And when you need to reach for something, your hands are trapped inside

Now, there's the snuggie! The blanket that has sleeves!

The snuggie keeps you totally warm with the freedom to use your hands-

Max: Yes, the freedom to use our hands so we can beat the crap out of you!

Random person #1: But, Max! Don't you want to hear more wonders that the snuggie has to offer?

Max: There is no way in hell that I want to hear-

Random person #1: So now, you can work the remote, or read a book in total warmth and comfort!

Use your laptop without being cold, or enjoy a snack while staying _snugly_ warm.

Flock: O_o -is stunned-

Fang: _Snugly _warm? Hell no.

Random person #1: That's right, Fang! Snugly warm! It's better than warm!

Fang: O_o

Random Person #1: Snuggie is made of ultra-soft, thick fleece-

Iggy: For the love of all mutants, shut up! You can take your snuggie and shove it up your a**! I have an invention for you, pal, you know what it's called? A robe put on backwards! Also, I think that I'll pass on looking like a member of a whacked up cult of people consisting of backwards robes! you're obviously trying to get us to sign up for something pure evil! Now get outta here before I have no other option but to kill you! Heck, I'm surprised that you're still alive right now!

Random person #1: O_o

Flock: …-cracks up-

J.P.: Iggy! Don't insult the snuggie advertising person! I hired him to advertise the snuggie in the book for a great price! Now shut up!

Gazzy: J.P., why didn't you just get _us _to advertise it instead of this guy?

J.P.: Because…because…That's a great idea Gazzy!

Flock: GAZZY!

Gazzy: Oops…

**…**

Max: Aren't these snuggies warm and wonderful everyone?

Flock: Oh yes they are, Max.

Nudge: I mean, they are just so soft and cuddly. And there is plenty of room for us to move our arms around. This. Is. Amazing.

Gazzy: Not to mention that they are snugly warm

Angel: And they are a size large so that they can fit everybody; even younger kids like me.

Iggy: Look, everyone. I can move around in it too. Isn't this great? -gets up and spins in a circle-

Max: I can even roast marshmallows over the fire while staying warm -is forcing a smile while practically burning her marshmallow-

Iggy: I love the snuggies!

Nudge: So do I, Iggy!

Angel: Me too!

Max: Me. Three.

Angel: Four-

Max: Me four!

Gazzy: And me!

Fang: -is clenching his teeth- And so do I. Because I'm no longer 'Fangalicous'...now I am 'snuggalaicous'!

Iggy: -can no longer hold a straight face- -bursts into a laughing fit-

Rest of the Flock: -laughs-

J.P.: -also laughs-

Random person #1: WHY CAN'T ANY OF YOU TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY?

Everyone: -is too busy laughing to answer-

**…**

'_Yo!' I said loudly. 'Up and at 'em!'_

_You'll be relieved to hear my brief descent into weary lack of caring was totally gone by the time-_

Iggy: -stands up with his eyes shut- -steps in front of Max- -flicks her in the forehead- -goes back to sleeping-

Max: IGGY!

Iggy: -snores-

Gazzy: -gets up- -also flicks Max in the head-

Fang: Looks like you're being initiated into their cult of snuggies :P

Max: -eyeroll- EVERYONE! UP! NOW!

Flock: No!

Gazzy: I WANT MY SNUGGIE!

Max: -facepalm-

J.P.: Break?

Max: Do we have a choice?

Fang: -flicks Max in the head-

Max: -shoves a snuggy over Fang's head- -ties it up with rope- -pushes it over-

Fang: MAX!

Max: -shrug- -goes to sleep-

...

Iggy: This story is brought to you by Fang who is now not only bi, but Snuggalicous! And you can even buy the Snuggalicous action figure!

_Snuggalicious!_

_It's hot, hot!_

_Snuggalicious!_

_Making all the cult members drop!_

_Snuggalicious!_

_They want a taste of what Fang's got ;););)_

_Because he's Snuggalicious!_

_Because in his new snuggie he is_

_T-t-tasty tasty!_

Iggy: Because that's Fang! -winks-

Also, call now and recieve this free Max action figure so that you can make them make out and-

Fang: For the last time, you are not funny! JEEZ! -drags Iggy away-

**Me: As I said, not as good as normal...but this is just a catchup chapter so...yeah...**

**R&R?**

**-Bell and Ig**


	7. Chapter 7: OM NOM NOM!

**Me: Heh...hi guys**

**Iggy: Yeah, hi. How long has it been, Bell? Like, FOUR MONTHS?**

**Me: :( I'm sorry...I just kinda put off writing this for such a long time because of writers block. It was like 'I can't think of anything so I'll do it later...' but I never got around to it. However, I've been getting random reviews for this, so I sat myself down and wrote something...and it worked!**

**So, here's the next chapter. Jeez, I hope I still have readers**

**Iggy: I hope you don't**

**Me: -sigh- sorry everyone! I'll try to update more frequently. In fact, I'll start the next chapter now as proof :)**

**Iggy: you'd better**

**Me: Alright, here it is. Just know that I don't own anything. There are a lot of random references in this chapter...**

**Hope you like it :)**

* * *

Fang: So…why have we all been called to sit around this table?

Gazzy: Are we, like, becoming the new Knights of the round table…but instead of armour we wear snuggies?

Max: If that's why we're here, I'm sooo gone-

Shelly: This has nothing to do with snuggies! It's to do with the freaking progress of this book!

Nudge: But everything's going fine! We're halfway through the book and-

Shelly: Nudge, does that look fine to you? -points at Gazzy-

Gazzy: -has dropped out of his seat and is rolling on the floor wrapped up in his snuggie- -cackles maniaclly while trying to wrestle himself out of the fabric-

Nudge: Uh…

Shelly: Or that? -points at Max and Fang-

Max: -is sitting on Fang's lap and making out-

Nudge: …

Shelly: Or what about that?

Iggy: -bashing his head against the table- Llama, -bang- llama, -bang- llama, -bang- cheese -bang- ...

Nudge: So…

Shelly: So what?

Nudge: What's your point?

Shelly: -groans-

Angel: Excuse me, Shelly, maybe you should tell them about the prize.

Flock: PRIZE?

Gazzy: IS IT A SNUGGIE?

Shelly: No-

Gazzy: Talking llama?

Shelly: NO-

Gazzy: Bagel?

Shelly: Gazzy, no-

Gazzy: Ari in a Christmas stocking?

Shelly: What? No-

Gazzy: OH! OH! OH! I know. It. Is. A…..MAGICAL TALKING LLAMA!

Shelly: You already said that and I said no!

Gazzy: What about-

Shelly: For the love of God it's this! -places a large box of doughnuts on the table-

Gazzy: Where? Where's the llama?

Shelly: There is no llama! The prize is the doughnuts!

Iggy: Is there a llama inside the doughnuts?

Shelly: NO- that's it, I'm not getting paid enough. I quit. -leaves-

Iggy: Was about time. He was here for too long.

Director ?: Alright, looks like I'll fill you in on what Shelly was trying to say. So, the doughnuts-

Gazzy: Are you the Riddler?

Director ?: What? NO!

Gazzy: It's just…the question mark-

Iggy: The riddler doesn't exist, Gazzy! You need to quit watching Batman!

Gazzy: He does too! And NEVER!

Iggy: No he doesn't! And you shouldn't watch it!

Gazzy: DOES TOO! And you're just jealous because you can't watch it! HA!

Iggy: …

Nudge: And he pulled the blind card…

Max: Guys, let's listen to what the Riddler has to say.

Gazzy: SO YOU ADMIT THAT THERE IS A RIDDLER!

Max: I-

Iggy: You're a traitor, Max! The real Max would never admit that there was a Riddler!

Max: Fine, you caught me..._I'm _the riddler!

Gazzy: -gasps- Max was the Riddler the whole time!

Fang: That's news to me…

Iggy: Wait, so if Max is the Riddler, then that means she's really a guy…AND FANG REALLY IS BI!

Flock: O_o

Fang: Thanks a lot, Max.

The Riddler (Director): EVERYONE BE QUIET BEFORE I, uh…use my Riddler powers on you!

Gazzy: The Riddler doesn't have any powers! And Max said that she's the Riddler!

The Riddler: Ok, whatever, just listen. Here's the deal, we're going to keep track of your stuffups from now on and whoever messes up the least gets these doughnuts.

Max: And why do we care about the doughnuts?

The Riddler: Because J.P. has locked us in this room until we get up to chapter 84…and there's no food in here because he's a jerk.

Flock: O_o

Max: You're kidding!

The Riddler: No. I'm not. We're really stuck in here. So, you guys had better get through this unless you want to starve to death.

Iggy: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIEEEE!

Max: Thanks for those words of encouragement.

…

"_I'm ok now," I said, lying through my teeth. 'Maybe it's a stomach bug or something.' Yeah, the kind of stomach bug that gives you _brain cancer. _The kind of bug you get when your whole genetic make-up is about to unravel. The bug you get before you die._

Iggy: -mutters something-

Max: What was that, Iggy?

The Riddler: Congrats, Max, you lose first.

Max: HEY! It was-

The Riddler: NO DOUGHNUTS FOR YOU!

Max: But-

The Riddler: NO DOUGHNUTS FOR YOU!

Max: BUT-

The Riddler: NO. DOUGHNUTS. FOR. YOU!

Max –glares at Iggy-

Iggy: -smirks- I just said that you were such a drama queen!

Max: Hey, that brain explosion hurt like a bitc-

Fang: A big pain the butt. Right, Max?

Max: -bites lip- Yes, Fang. A big pain in the butt.

Iggy: Otherwise known as a B****

The Riddler: Everyone quiet or you'll lose your doughnut privileges too!

Flock: -is silent-

…

_And now I was gulping, trying not to cry. As if I hadn't experienced _enough _emotion already this morning. I muttered a swear word to myself. After I'd heard Angel cussing like a sailor when she stubbed her toe, my new resolution was to watch my language-_

Iggy: -cracks up- How's that been working out for ya, Max?"

Max: -glares- Very well.

Iggy: Wait, I didn't say-

The Riddler: And Iggy's out now. Four more left.

Iggy: I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!

Gazzy: -snickers quietly-

Max: I heard you! You're such a f****** jerk!

Iggy: -snickers- And not only have you lost your doughnut privileges you've also stuffed up Angel. Nice going Max.

Max: That's it. I have nothing to lose! -attacks Iggy crazily- -she and Iggy fight on the floor-

Nudge: Should we stop them?

Fang: And lose the chance to watch Max rip him apart? No way.

The Riddler: Break it up, Fang

Fang: No.

The Riddler: I'll take away the doughnuts

Fang: ...

The Riddler: You heard me. I'll get rid of them

Fang: ...the answer is still no.

The Riddler: I'll dump them in the toilet

Fang: …...No.

Gazzy: FANG! I don't want my doughnuts dumped in toilet water!

Angel: Fang must like to drink toilet water.

Gazzy: Makes sense. His name reminds me of that dog from Harry Potter.

Fang: -facepalm-

Angel: Fluffy? Fang isn't that scary and menacing…maybe he's more like a my little pony!

Fang: -stares at Angel-

Gazzy: No! Hagrid's dog Fang!

Angel: Oh yeah! Fang is like a black dog…but he's more like a my little pony.

Fang: Dammit! That's it! -breaks up the fight-

Angel and Gazzy: -highfive-

…

'_Oh my God!' I muttered, staring at the lights below us. New York City is at the bottom part of a long, thin island – Long Island, actually. You could never tell exactly where it began and ended-_

Nudge: Alright, I have a question. How is this -gestures to small, miniature version of New York- helping us shoot this? It's, like, tiny and Max is describing how big it is! It makes no sense. Why can't we just go outside and fly over New York and-

The Riddler: There goes Nudge's doughnut privileges! And we can't go outside! We're locked in, remember?

Nudge: Oh yeah…

Gazzy: RRRWWWAAARRR! -stomps through the city- RRRWWWWAAAARRRR!

Fang: Stop stealing my lines!

Gazzy: It's not much of a line…more like a word.

Fang: It's _my _word.

Max: Aw, poor Fang -eyeroll-

Fang: -shrug- Fake sympathy is better than no sympathy at all

Max: Not really.

The Riddler: Looks like we have to rebuild the city…

Max: Forget that. We can't keep filming under these conditions. I say we go on a hunger strike.

Fang: -facepalm- But we have no food! That would be redundant.

Max: Oh yeah…

The Riddler: But she's right, we can't keep filming and-

Dr. M: -comes in- Who wants cookies?

Flock: -stares-

Dr. M: What?

Iggy: Where did you get…

Max: There's supposed to be no food in here! We're locked in!

Dr. M: The door was unlocked…

Max: -looks at the Riddler- YOU DIDN'T BOTHER TO CHECK IT!

The Riddler: I thought…my bad -smiles innocently-

Iggy: WE'RE FREE! Karaoke time!

Everybody's freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee to feel good  
Everybody's freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee to feel good  
Everybody's fr-

Max: EVERYONE RUN! -Flock, Dr. M and The Riddler leave-

Ari: -appears from behind the set with J.P's master keys- I knew that it would work. Now the doughnuts and the cookies are mine! MIIINNNEEEEE! OM NOM NOM! -eats-

* * *

**Me: OM NOM NOM!**

**Iggy: ARI STOLE MY COOKIES!**

**Me: -laughs- He's sneaky. At least he let you out of that room. J.P. did'nt give you any food!**

**Iggy: -laughs-**

**R&R?**

**-Bell and Ig**


End file.
